house in Negeri Sembilan
The term 'Orang Semenda' more often than not, is portrayed to outsiders in a negative manner due to stories from people who lack understanding of how the system operates. The picture which is always conjured is that the man who is married to a woman from Negeri Sembilan has to bade good-bye with only his shirt on his back( keluar rumah Sehelai Sepinggang) when a divorce or demise of the wife happens, and the man packs up because the house does not belong to him but if he has a daughter, then the house is then passed to her. Nowadays, with the proliferation of nuclear families living in their own homes (no more living in ancestral house), this situation hardly arises.
When a man marry a woman from Negeri Sembilan, he is called 'Orang Semenda' if he stays with his wife at the ancestral house (rumah pesaka)and the village he is staying in, is called ' Pek mondo ' short for 'Tempat Semenda' or the place where he now resides and he has certain obligations to fulfill. Thus the saying below spells out his obligations;
Orang Semenda ini
Disuruh pergi
Dipanggil datang
( The Spouse when called upon must turn up
and perform his role as expected )
This maxim is usually applicable when there is work to be allotted such as preparation for a wedding feast or any other ceremonial function involving the extended family of the wife.
Orang Semenda
Pertama beripar lamai
Kenal mengenal
Diunjuk rumah
Papan yang sebilah
Atap yang selayar
Kampong yang bersudut
Rumah yang berketak tangga
Kok ada jangan dihabis
Kok kurang ditambah
Kok pendek disambung
Kok tiada ditambah
Ikhtiar dan usaha dituntut
( Orang Semenda firstly is accepted as a family member of a large family
consisting of in-laws and must be introduced to the kith and kins so that
he is not a stranger anymore.
He is given a house complete with walls and roof and has a place in the village. He must preserve or add to the property of his wife and not to diminish them . If there is a need, he must fulfill them and if something is short, he must top them up. His effort and contribution is most welcomed.)
A man who knows his place in Adat Perpatih will be given due respect,especially when he has valuable contribution in term of his ability and skill for the betterment of society. Thus a person who adds value will gain respect of the society where he now resides.
If the Orang Semenda builds his own house away from the ancestral home and the wife stays with him, he does not have to leave the house if a divorce or death of the wife takes place, as the house is not inherited from his wife's mother. Therefore it is up to the Orang Semenda to make his own fortune if he wants and he does not have to leave with only the shirt on his back should the unexpected happens.
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